When I was in my 20s (oh so long ago!) I would get "itchy" to move every 3 years. Move jobs, move house, move relationships...just for a change.
It hasn't been three years, but I think it's time for a change...so for the next while, my blog will move to: budhsi.blogspot.com
Please do come and visit...I'm still trying to get the hang of it, but starting something new is always fun!
Looking forward to your comments too!!!
For the past eight months now I have been wearing braces. "Why are you wearing braces?!" said someone, "Keeping up with the trends?!" she added with a hint of mockery in her voice, referring to the many celebrities who were wearing braces as adults.
"Cool!" said my nephew the moment he saw me a few weeks ago, and even asked if he could see how my teeth were straightening out, asking for details on how long I had been wearing them and how I was coping.
It's interesting to note how people react to something they are not expecting. Some stare, some pretend not to see, some are curious, others are find it...simply... cool!
I've also learned that despite the fact that I thought my teeth would simply be, well, the way they were meant to be - especially by the age of 41 - my teeth have changed. My jaw has adjusted to how my teeth now fit with each other, and the shape of my smile has also changed.
Every couple of weeks, once I feel that my mouth has adjusted to the gradual fixing of my teeth's alignment...I go to the dentist and have the wires adjusted again. And then there's the discomfort and sometimes dull pain that follows...until everything adjusts again.
In trying to get my mind off of the discomfort I'm feeling tonight after having my braces adjusted this morning (I think my teeth move at night), I decided to think about how my wearing braces is related to facilitation.
In many ways the whole experience is akin to constantly changing, and being pushed into my learning zone. I started off being in my comfort zone, am then forced into my learning zone (when the braces are adjusted), and then I find that I adapt and change until it is almost comfortable... and then I go into my stretching zone again.
There is no "one" way of facilitating. Each and every person has their own "zone" that they have to find and fit into. One must also keep on challenging oneself to always be fresh and new and creative, and to always be excited by the passion that drives them to be a facilitator.
Once you are "too" comfortable, it's time to 'adjust' your braces and stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Oh and make sure that it's fun...everytime I get my braces adjusted, I change the color of my elastic rings or band. It's pretty cool...having a vibrant purple smile!
Believe it or not, writing about this helped ease my discomfort! How's that for the healing power of vibrant thinking...hee-hee...
I just finished watching a movie I've been waiting for, Happy Feet. It's absolutely tap-tap-tap, shuffle-shuffle-tap, skippity-skip wonderful!! It isn't surprising that it won an Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film, and a Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song, "The Song of the Heart."
Mumbles, the fluffy emperor penguin and hero of the movie, struggles to find his Heartsong - a song that each and every emperor penguin must find within her and himself in order to "be." And once they have found their heartsong, it must be sung outloud. Until Mumbles came along.
Mumbles found his HeartSong from within himself, but didn't sing it outloud...he DANCED it with his HappyFeet. Tappity-tap, toe-toe-toe, heel-heel, shuffle...shuffle...and with oh so much joy!! And although he faced challenge after challenge, eventually the others were able to open their hearts and "hear" Mumbles' HeartSong.
Learning to listen with the heart means learning to be open to the unexpected. Not everyone expresses themselves the way we expect them to. They key, therefore, is to learn to "suspend" and appreciate what does come.
Or, as Prince sings in "The Song of the Heart"....
U might make a different song, yes that's right it's true
That don't make anybody more or less as good as u
If u can't feel the music that's all u really need
Then turn this party all the way out
Good time guaranteed
Everybody get up
Clap your hands and dance 2 the beat
Whatever u do little darlin' it's cool
Just get up out your seat
And wave a flag because everybody plays a part
One world united singing the song of the heart
All right I'm going to tell u one more time
Listen ...
One world
One world
One world united
Singing a song
Singing a song
Singing a song of the heart
From the time we were going to do the training, I decided to call our tenth facilitation course, Vibrant X. Not ten, not 10. But X. It felt Xpecial. Not that any of the other groups were less special, but for some reason or another, I willed this training to be Xtra Xpecial. Xtraordinary!
I also chose to take the phrase, "be phenomenal" to heart. Somehow I forgot to use it during teh training, but during our team's preparation for the training, I mentioned that we had to be more than just good, more than just great...we had to be phenomenal. My problem was, of course and as usual, how to translate "phenomenal" into good, meaningful Bahasa Indonesia. Still haven't found the word. Luarbiasa doesn't do it. If you're reading this, and you understand bahasa Indonesia, let me know what you think! Or, Rosta - maybe there's a word in Bahasa Melayu?
I also thought of another phrase that I heard from an amazing young man who was physically handicapped. "No Excuses" was his motto in life. There are no excuses for not being your best, for not doing your very best, no matter how hard it is and how much you probably want to give up.
I shared this with Dani when we talked about preparing the sessions for this training. "I want us to do something new this time," he said. "Let's change the way we do our sessions!" And we did. And it felt great. And this enthusiasm was contagious to our team, to the participants, and the energy that was generated is still generating itself till now!
On the morning after the training was over, quite a few participants said that they were regretting that it was all over, that they had to go back to their 'not-so-vibrant' organizations. I thought to myself, "And I get to go back to ... Inspirit!" and couldn't help but smile from the soles of my feet to the top of my head.
Blessed. Truly blessed, I am. To be able to live my passion and share that passion with others. To work with a gifted, creative, and inspiring partner who shares that passion. To be supported by a team that puts up with my whims and often sharp tongue. I am so lucky that they somehow know that beyond that sharp tongue is a warm and loving heart.
Kakam. Thank you. Gracias. Terima kasih. From the bottom of my heart. Vibrant X proved to me that being Xtraordinary means that the passion that drives us can bring out the very best in us, and in others. To Dani, Dian, Dendy, Nova, Ken, Rendra and Deni - who powered Vibrant X.
But most of all to the Vibrant X-ers: Nunu (sahabat rahasia), Alloy, Henra, Darwis, Fabby, Aya, Ekal, Udin, Fay (the necklace is beautiful!), Inay, Saipul, Yani, Haris, Wira, Sari, Agus, Mila, Aga, and Parlan... the gems that formed a beautiful necklace of special individuals.
"It takes a world of differences to make a difference in this world" ... go the words to a beautiful song sung by the children of AB Combs Elementary School.
May the Vibrant X necklace of differences truly make a difference in this world, through the changes that each of you makes. Bravo!
22 February 2007
Another beautiful morning in Davao. This is my second morning here, at the Waterfront Hotel, Davao, Mindanao. I am attending the culmination of the 20th year celebrations of a community development program in the Philippines, and will be giving a brief presentation on INSPIRIT's experience in setting up learning cirlces of facilitators and women community leaders.
Landing in the Philippines is always an interesting experience for me. On the one hand, I am coming "home", because I was born and raised here (Manila and then Marawi City in Mindanao) until I was 2 1/2 years old. On the other hand, I don't speak the language and perhaps in total have only visited around 20 times in my entire life.
It is very much a cutlural home for me, though. The moment we land, a switch goes off in my brain and my English becomes very Taglish. This of course poses its own set of challenges, because people then assume that I also understand Tagalog, which is very much an illusion. Rafa, my little (grand) nephew asked me once, "You don't understand Tagalog? Bakit? Why?"
But back to the conference. I am interested in what is to come. The Philippines has often been seen as a leader of civil society movements in Southeast Asia. Many NGO activists in Indonesia learned from their Filipino counterparts in the 80s and 90s. And of course, being the closest to Indonesia in terms of culture and also language, Mindanao and its rich indigenous peoples' cultures intrigues my cultural anthropologist self.
And so this journey begins...and I am keeping my eyes, ears, heart and mind open to what will unfold in front of me.
We did it. Actually, Dian, Dino, Novi, Intan, and Dendy did it. And Deni and Rendra, and Dian (Infiniti) and Tantri too. We could not have done it without you.
There is a Mexican tradition where on a person's birthday, it is the mother who is congratulated. She is thanked for having given birth to the birthday girl or boy, no matter how old or young she or he is. So I'd also like to thank my Ibu, for giving Inspirit it's name. Yes, indeed she did.
The day we were to declare our birth, we thought hard about what name to give ourselves. I called my mother, and asked her for advice. She said she would think about it and get back to me. Not long after, she called me back and said, "Why don't you call yourselves Inspirit? It means to inspire, to give life to, to give courage to...from what you have told me, it sounds like that is what you and your friends do.
At least that is what we continue to aspire to do. And yesterday, looking around at the many smiling faces of those who came to our 5th birthday party, a little voice inside of me whispered, "It looks like you guys are doing what you set out to do!" And right away the tears started to come. Tears of amazement...tears of pure joy...and deep, deep gratitude for the blessings we have received in the form of the many people of have joined us in building our dream of making a difference.
And of course, to the one who started it all...bravo! Bravo for wanting to be different, for believing in the positive, for being open to sharing your dream with others so that we could join you on the ride. Oh yes, and happy birthday to you too.
Kakam = thank you in Budhsi speak. One of the first words my parents taught me was thank you. To which, of course, I was also taught to say "You're welcome." And so when I finally put the two together, I came up with "Kakam!" - a combination of thank you and welcome.
Kakam to all of you who came to our birthday party! Kakam to all of you who sent messages by email and sms and phone to join us in our celebration!
Kakam for letting us be part of your lives, and for allowing us to spread the passion that keeps us going, and for making it your own and letting it soar high and far!
May your passion continue to shine and be contagious!
"Christrmas na?" said Rafa, looking at me with expectant eyes - "Is it Christmas already?" We were sitting in front of the Christmas tree, that was slowly disappearing under the many gifts that were put at its base. I wanted to take a picture of it and he was posing in front of me. It was obvious that he was getting more and more excited by the moment, as he saw more and more presents being added to the pile.
It was a few hours before Christmas, and my Tita's house was in full swing in preparation for Noche Buena, the Christmas Eve meal of the family that starts exactly at midnight. Ibu was preparing her roast duck, a family recipe passed down by her mother, Lola Castro. The kitchen was alive with all kinds of smells and sounds, and I was busy wrapping the gifts we had brought from Indonesia as well as bought last minute in Manila. Lesley, Rafa's mom, was busy helping me wrap, while Rafa was curiously peeking into the bags of unwrapped gifts..."Wow! What's this?" he would say, pulling out yet another gift that was actually meant for him!
Finally all was done, and it was time to take a nap before getting ready to go to Christmas Eve mass. And a good mass it was. The singing was good (always the determining factor) and the homily was also good (another determining factor).
"Christmas has a personal message for each and every person," the priest said. "Listen to the whisper in the wind for the personal message God has for you," he added, and then proceeded to ask the congregation to kneel quietly, open our hearts, and listen for the personal message God was whispering on this holy night.
I opened my heart, fell silent, and listened. I heard my message, a word whispered but one that also rang loud and clear, "Love."
Merry Christmas. Love and blessings to you all. And yes, Rafa, it's Christmas na! 
You could see people getting more and more excited as our plane began its descend towards Manila. Overseas Filipino Workers - OFWs - coming from as far as Jeddah and closer from Singapore, were beginning to anticipate their homecoming for the holidays. Yes, Christmas at home is definitely Christmas.
This year, it's Manila. And what a joy it was to pull up to my Tita Cherry's house (Ibu's older sister) and hear my grandnephew (yes, I'm a GRANDMA) yell at the top of his lungs, "Hiiiiii!!!!!" in greeting. My heart was just filled with a big, big smile.
Here he is, Rafael (nicknamed Wawan) in front of the Christmas tree which is already beginning to disappear under the pile of gifts that grows by the day (actually, by now it's by the hour). Rafael was born on the day my father was buried. He is living proof of the cylce of life...my niece, Lesley, brought him into this world at the precise moment the earth was claiming my father's body. The passing of one life, the birth of another.
So Rafa is, and always will be special. He is now four years old. Very, very talkative - in Tagalog, mostly, but he does speak and understand English. And extremely joyful. Rest assured that many more Rafa stories will come in this blog, and undoubtedly will be an inspiration for INSPIRIT's future trainings to come!
So here is Rafa, and here is the famous Aquino Christmas tree...
Two days ago Ibu and I met with a good friend of Bapak's, the country program director of LEAD Pakistan, Ali Syeikh. He was someone who was not only close to Bapak, but also the one who was in charge of all helping the worldly arrangements of his passing from this life to the next.
It was a meeting that I wanted to go to, but one that I was also a bit worried about. Knowing that he was there during Bapak's last days in Guadalajara, and knowing that they were close, made me quite confident that I would start crying as soon as I saw him. Which I did. But that was okay.
He spoke of how close he and Bapak were (which I knew of because of the many times Bapak had spoken of him), but there was one special thing he shared with Bapak that he's pretty sure no one else did. This is his story...
Everytime Bapak would travel, undoubtedly something would happen to his luggage. Either it would get lost, or delayed, or sent somewhere else. When this happened one time, Ali Syeikh lent Bapak a shirt of his own, and also a tie. They were more or less the same size, and it worked out well. On another trip, it happened again, and Ali Syeikh lent Bapak another shirt and another tie. "And you know what?" said Ali Syeikh while telling this story to us, "From then on, I would always pack an additional shirt and additional tie...just in case. So that Pak Kis would have a fresh set of clothing if he needed it."
Now that is friendship. Deep, deep friendship and affection. The same deep friendship and affection I am sure he showed when he had to lay Bapak to rest and help on the start of Bapak's journey to God.
Thank you, Ali Syeikh. For everything.
We, Me, Them by John Simmons
Learning by Heart by Corita Kent, Jan Steward
If You Want to Write: A Book About Art, Independence and Spirit by Brenda Ueland
